Ushi is Back

My imagination...?

2005-05-03T06:51:00.000-05:00

I may have just made this up last night as I was sleeping and dreaming, but I might not have--is Uschie maybe possibly back? Someone (maybe Catrey) said that she was maybe back but asleep (like Sleeping Beauty but without the Beauty. Lol. Just kidding Uschie you are AMAZINGLY BEAUTIFUL and I LOBE you!) So yeah, did that happen?

Catrey says yesh. But that Lena said so first. So that's cool.

The inevitable question

2005-04-29T08:02:00.000-05:00

So, now that Ushi is coming back, do we delete this blog, or do we put it on the way-back burner and never use it again?

We can print it if need be and make a notebook out of it. Then, we could give it to Ushi as a present--sorta.

I'm willing to do whatever, but I want to know what you guys think. And since I'm the only admin [I think] until Ushi actually arrives in the country, I need to know at some point.

We do so love the zoo

2005-04-27T07:02:00.000-05:00

Erm. It's from the Cheese Family. Anyhoo.
Event: Tyler and Sarah are 'taking a break'. =broke up on Monday. Cause she cheated on him, and with CHRISTIAN CHANEY too.

Hurrah for spreading gossip throughout the land.

Ushi, you're going to laugh SO hard...

2005-04-24T07:31:00.000-05:00

Today is Sunday, April 24. It is 8.35 AM EST.

And it is snowing.

It snowed all last night too.

An Event for a While

2005-04-19T18:48:00.000-05:00

Because the blogs are dying. Dee wy eye en gee dying. Must be that we all are getting regular teachers back, who make us do work, and Lena and I have started Trig which takes a while but is pretty easy, and Catrey and I make plans for impetuosity, and I have track and Lena has lax and no one has time to blog or anything to blog about anymore and whatever happened to Elisha I miss the poor dearie.

Yesh.

On the bright side, I kidnap people.

STUFF

2005-04-13T09:53:00.000-05:00

Gaspo. STUFF has been happening. I will now tell you.

Me and the guys went up in the Andes to see the hardcore mountain flamingoes, which were insane. Too far away for a picture, though, sorry Lena. Also there was sand and churches and wolf-ducks which mate for life and I didn`t pass out from dehydration nor throttle Sidney, both notable accomplishments. And then we got a flat tyre, but Miguel (who is a hoopy frood) fixed it.

And I went to a concert, a real actual concert with bunch of people jabbing each other in the face with their elbows whilst trying to dance in six square inches of space. And some guy tried to buy us drinks. Very impressive, `twas.

And yesterday was Dia de Los Niños and I was given multicolored stripey socks. They know me quite well by now.

And I went to Mariana Lee`s house, which was crazy and trilingual. Her mum spoke Korean and Spanish, I spoke English and Spanish, Mariana spoke English, Spanish, and Korean. And the maid didn`t speak, but no doubt she understood Russian or something.

And omgwtfspaz I got published twice in the States without doing anything! My second article finally got printed, and then my first article got republished in some teacher`s resource thing and I`m getting two big fat checks for them. So I won`t be broke when I get home. So yay! You should congratulate me.

Ushi! Ushiushiushi!

2005-04-04T19:01:00.000-05:00

What is your locker combination?

PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE tell me! I want to steal your locker pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease.

Note the stylish way with which I spelt your name in the Japanese way. Cow. And also the way with which I wrote 'spelt' instead of 'spelled'. The awesome stylish possum groovy HIP rad bodacious BRITISH way of doing it.

Catrey es una monita poca.

We did the possum SPANISH MAD LIBS in class today. Pato (Duck)(Tyler) es mi mama. Ella tiene cien anos...

It was pretty funny.

Nyar.

2005-04-03T14:48:00.000-05:00

I`s depressed, I is.

Had a pretty good morning. The guys are still in Salta, so I wandered around town for a couple hours. Churches make good landmarks as long as you make sure there`s a steeple, otherwise it might just be a pretty wall. Also, I can`t ask directions by them, as I know them by names such as Stoney Gray Chuch or Pointy White Church, when they are in fact known to most as San Lorenzo or San Francisco. But still. And I had not one, but three foodstuffs. Salteñas (not Saltines, but that`s what I used to think that`s what they were too. they are in fact bits of meat, egg, potato, and non-spicy spices wrapped in a pastry-like substance in an oval-like shape.) and cotton candy and a Panda (again, ot what it sounds like. it`s a brand of ice-cream.).

Then I went home and had lunch, then I played pretend in my room for a while. I don`t know if I`m the only one who still does that. I think there were vampires involved, if that makes me cooler... Anyway, then I decided that the Minnie Mouse bedspread was just too irritating, so I got my Spanish book, put on my school sweater, and went out despite it being 40 degrees. I picked a random sidewalk and followed it until I found a bench ("Hurrah, handybench!") then sat down and studied.

It was dull, but what else is new? Then I heard someone across the street say "--they should do something--" with a strong British accent. I looked up really fast and saw three really hip-looking people chatting to each other in British and walking up the road. It was a really quick battle in my head between yelling "Oi! Fellow English-speakers!" and just watching them. Watching won, and they walked out of sight, at whih point I became severely depressed and came here to tell you so.

I missed out on a conversation with hip people! Not that the Schroeder-Wiswells aren`t hip, but you get tired of the same four people after a certain amount of time, and they`re gone anyway so I`ve been going though English-language withdrawal. Close-to-my-age people from an interesting place who could speak my language and would have interesting things to say, and I just let them walk away! Waaaaiiiillll!!

Anyway, I came here to get it off my mind and prevent myself from having weird dreams. Didn`t stop by the house, so Lena`ll have to wait for tomorrow for yonder scenes. Mayhap even yon Tuesday, as tomorrow I intend to go to yon Centro Boliviano Americano and see if I can meet other hip English-speakers. But it is unlikely I will find it, alas.

Gaspo. A post.

2005-03-31T08:46:00.000-05:00

There is a boy in my class who has developed a habit of walking home with me, buying me chips when I forget my money, having long conversations about my family and how smart you have to be to go on exchange, and asking for my e-mail. Sidney hypothesized that he was in love with me, to which I replied (scathingly) "Yes, I expect we`ll be getting married any day now." Meg, Catrey, mock me now and be done with it. I want this out of your system before I come home.

In other news, I have spent some of my more boring classes translating geeky phrases into Spanish. Here are the best ones. A cookie to whoever gets them all.

Soy Voldemort. Tema mis orejas.

Vida. No me dice de vida.

Somos los caballeros que dice: ¡ni!

Fuimos de veras los abogados.

¡Escribes honor como un inglès!

¡T3m4 m1s d3str3z4z l33t3s!

Handy Longpost

2005-03-24T08:49:00.000-05:00

Dear me, I haven`t been blogging much lately, have I? Ah well, only because I`ve been Doing Things and they are actually quite exciting. Like, on Tuesday I rode the bus by myself. In a big circle. And had a conversation with the driver, the gist of which was, Yes, I know this is the end of the route but I`d really rather not get off here as there is no sign of civilization. Yes, I know we passed Domingo Paz, that`s where I got on, will you please take me BACK there? Thank you.

I completely forgot Saint Patrick`s day, and was reminded forcibly when Sid and Joe started pinching me that night. So unfair, I was in my school uniform, which has no green unless you wear the sweater, but it was hot. I should`ve been wearing the Abe Shiny, except every time I wear it to school at least four people throttle me by grabbing it and saying "¡Que bonito!" so I`ve decided it`s better for my well-being to...not.

I went to a soccer game! The Strongest verus Tarija, very exciting. Only I couldn`t recognize any of the players except Bald Guy, whose head was impressively shiny in the stadium lights.

And I`m the top of my math class, which is downright frightening. I got a 49 on my last exam, and that`s out of 50 so it`s even more impressive. And there we three word problems and I got them all right, muahahaha. Plus it`s new material. Unless I really wasn`t paying attention to Anderson. But I think I`d remember the name Ruffini. Who has Reglas, which I think are rules. And charts! Everybody was shocked and amazed at my test grade, which was nice until it became insulting. They all got 30s.

Tomorrow`s Good Friday, and I`m going to San Lorenzo with the guys. And if the buses don`t run we`re taking a sacreligious taxi. ^^ You`d think I`d get the week off for Easter rather than just one day, but I suppose summer break did just end...bleh.

And next weekend I`m going to Argentina. So the other guys can renew their visas and thus not be deported. Alas. But hey...Argentina!

Ahem.

2005-03-21T09:42:00.000-05:00

42 DAYS `TILL I COME HOME!!

Thank you.

Wow.

2005-03-15T07:58:00.000-05:00

Check it. Pictures of my house. Which was bulldozed on a Thursday.

Meg you are a LIAR.

What else. I`m in a new internet place, `tis quite shiny and near my school. Have I told you about my school? Maybe I`ll do that tomorrow.

Wounds are healing nicely, I think a few might add to my already impressive collection of scars.

Sorry to hear the contra bombed, obviously it`s because I wasn`t there. (No, actually it was probably Meg, but I`m not giving her credit because she is a LIAR.)

Now to find a pseudonym.

Events of the Something for the Something of Something

2005-03-13T09:24:00.000-05:00

Goyle-whose-name-is-actually-Luis is on the next computer over. Really hoping he doesn`t spot me.

So, how many of you have heard a group of teenaged Bolivian boys play guitar and sing "Twist and Shout" with a spanish accent? `Cause I have. At school, no less.

And Rodrigo-who-is-five suddenly went INSANE the other day and ATTACKED me. I was at a severe disadvantage, as he is not my child and I cannot hit him even if he is trying to claw my eyes out. So I sustained several injuries, including a bite mark on my right forearm and several scratches on my hands. I look like I was trying to bathe an angry cat. May it be known that Rodrigo Calabi is a biter, a scratcher, and a hair-puller. And that bite HURTS too because it has his spit in it.

And may it be known that last night I held a contra with Sid and Joe. I even wore a skirt to my babysitting gig. It was actually kind of pathetic, but I even said all the calls I could remember, icluding Long Lines which is really difficult with three people.

It is COLD today. By Bolivian standards, that is. Maybe even around 40 degrees. Of course I chose this day to wear shorts. I could say it`s refreshing, but I`d be lying.

Events for this week

2005-03-12T09:38:00.000-05:00

So, we got out on Tuesday, two hour delay Wednesday so BOB was rescheduled to Friday. I left early on Thursday for a track meet (my split on the 4x8 was 2.56!!!) (but I only ran one event I got sick). Then Friday (yesterday) we had one hour delay. Nothing of importance happened on Monday. Yesterday was Shine's birthday, so Uschie, I think you should like email him and tell him happy birthday, cause he'll be upset if you miss it. ^_^ And... we got out twenty entire minutes early yesterday, and I had track practice in the snow and was rather cold, but I found my hoodie which I thought I had lost. And I was all covered in snow. And I had to crawl under the gate thing to get my stuff from the band room. And 'twas fun.
If anyone ever wonders why I only write about my stuff or general stuff, it's because I only know my stuff and general stuff. If you want your stuff posted, either tell me or post it yourself.

Yon books!

2005-03-11T08:35:00.000-05:00

Yay(x12) for I possessth yon tomes!! I hath traveled to yon Centro Boliviano Americano and checked out 2 of them: yon Confederacy of Dunces and yon Twentieth Century American Poetry. You may inform Ms. Stollings that I am reading yon Wasteland. For fun. (Also inquire about the state of yon mutant rudabega, if you will.)

Hrm...what else. Oh, someone tell Lane that I heard the Gasolina song on the radio yesterday, and that hs interpretation of it is more or less accurate.

Oh! Guess who got the day off from school yesterday due to Political Protest? I did! ^^ Tell me that isn`t way cooler than snow. Alas for it is not as frequent as yon snow day in Boone. Curses.

Besides Meg, every person I have met thus far in this country seems obsessed with me having a boyfriend. In fact, I had the following conversation with yon Korean-Bolivian girl whilst showing her yon pictures. (Translated from Spanish)

Yo: -and this is Simon.

Ella: Is he your boy?

Yo: (aware of intense homophobia in Bolivia and being tactful) ...he is a boy...

Ella: Yes, but is he your boy?

Yo: (giving up) He is gay.

Ella: (big long pause) Does his mother know?

Yo: Yes.

Ella: (other big long pause) Well, I guess that`s okay then.

`Twould have been amusing except for the fact that it wasn`t. And I CANNOT have a Bolivian boyfriend, Meg, because of my previously mentioned deep and abiding HATRED of all males over the age of seven. Except that Angelo kid in my class, and that`s only because my English teacher is a raving lunatic. And the computer guy because if I hated him I`d have to boycott the internet.

...

2005-03-09T09:16:00.000-05:00

Woke up gasping from a nightmare this morning. First of all, I didn`t know people actually did that. Secondly, why are my nightmares always so stupid? It was like some lame horror movie with the mangled corpse and the kid tried to hide it and his mom found out and he said it wasn`t his fault, it was the Spanish-English dictionary with the penny and the kitten as accomplices. Also, there was a weird Titanic flashback where me and this boy got in a little tiny submarine and someone passed us a little girl with long eyelashes and I had to drive and this seaweed kept trying to snag us. And the dictionary did do it, by the way, it was its revenge for the kid saying it didn`t have enough definitions or something...so I woke up at about five this morning in a cold sweat, terrified that I would be torn to shreds by a pocket dictionary.

My subconscious should die.

Just letting you know...

2005-03-07T10:54:00.000-05:00

The president resigned. Probably something to do with all the strikes/blockades/smallriots that we´ve been having. Like the one that kept us in La Paz a day late. We didn´t fancy walking two kilometers to the airport carrying three duffel bags.

Ech, it´s hot. I don´t want to wear my uniform. I´m in shorts and a tanktop now, dressy-shirt and slacks do not seem appealing. Forget the sweater, nobody wears that anyway.

Squirrel!

Yon Rant

2005-03-07T09:28:00.000-05:00

Alas, for ye olde Shadow Children sequence be short. Curse my stupidity for taking two home at once. Curse yon Margaret Peterson Haddix for having yon plot in yon non-hefty tomes. I weepeth, only not really. -eth. For I hath finishèd yon three of yon four. And alas for Nina Idi sounded like yon groovy name.

And curse jkr for not loadingeth.

Uschie, Uschie, Uschie.

2005-03-05T15:04:00.000-05:00

Hope ya don't mind me stealing your 'claim to fame'. Because you are no longer the exclusion to the rule. For lo, last night, I, Meg, called by some a 'nice girl' and by others a 'crazy freakazoid spazzout loser geek'... *drumroll* was in Tyler's basement. Twice. So there.

Hah, Lena, beat THAT for a week's event!

happyhappyhappyyay!

2005-03-02T17:31:00.000-05:00

I love La Paz so so much I want to live here later or at least spend a lot of time here, but to never ever ever get a yellow fever vaccination or a visa to India because that took fourteen seperate trips to various doctors and agencies even though I met the Indian consolate and the embassy is above a car dealership, which is awesome.

I went to lake Titikaka, which is fun to say. And I ate trout. And then we rode home in a bus but then there was a Strait of Somethingorother and the bus was ferried across and all of us got in a rickety little wooden boat in the dead of night during a thunderstorm and it was GREAT. And then our bus broke down, which was less great as the light went out and I had to stop reading Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood, which is quite amusing. Um...yes.

I love how diverse it is here. Most of the tourists here are German (Meg will be thrilled) and Israeli, followed closely by Danes. Kathy says the Germans are snobs and the Israaelis are cheap, but the Danes are great because they speak every language imaginable and never complain. There were some Japanese tourists at the lake, and one of them was humming a song that I knew and hummed along, and I later realized it was from the Cirque du Soleil, which is French. And at the Chinese restauraunt they served Bolivian soup before the actual Chinese food.

And and and! I am really pleased with myself because I have purchased most of my gifts for family and friends, and no I won´t tell you what they are but they are great. And I got a BAG, a bag with which I am so pleased that I will now describe it to you in great length. It is the exact perfect size for my five-subject notebook, has the exact perfect pockets for pencils and books, comes with a little change purse on a keychain that I was going to get one of anyway, only this MATCHES, and the strap is just long enough so I can put my hands in my pockets over the bag. It´s made of a typical Bolivian type of weave, so it´s also really pretty, and as Kathy put it, You haven´t been this happy since I last fed you.

Um...and I think I shall get myself an indigenous flute. I could get panpipes, but they´re hard to play, and the flute-thing I have in mind is built like a recorder-clarinet, with which I have had about four years of experience all told.

Any other random information? I´m going to the witches´ market tomorrow, where they sell things like dried llama fetuses for fertility. And this is an American keyboard wired like a Bolivian one. I still know how to use it, isn´t that frightening? And I could totally buy alcohol and cigarettes here if I wanted. And Kathy and I have calculated the number of acres of coca that the USDA should allow Bolivians to grow legally. And I´ve had coca tea and I could chew coca leaves if I wanted to but they´re supposed to taste nasty. They´re not bad for you though. And Kathy just looked up the weather in Boone and it looks like you´ve got a storm coming, to which she said Ha! And...my socks are green.

Event of the Week for Feb. 28- March Something

2005-02-28T11:17:00.000-05:00

It snowed! A LOT! Like a foot! So of course we have no school. And I get to practice my audition piece some more, joy. But I'm getting shelves! In my room! And the sewing machine is going to James' room.
I've never had shelves before, this is exciting. Now I should probably go on a book-buying spree, but we can't get out of the house until I shovel the driveway, something which I am not particularly inclined to do.
It's really really really pretty now. I don't ever really like the prospect of snow, I tend to prefer warm weather, but it's so pretty and snowy and it tends to induce hallucinations. Did you know that sometimes, a small stack of waffles bears a shocking resemblance to Shine's hair? It's true. At least, they did yesterday.
Another event? I was typing up synonyms and antonyms for our English blog when the power cut off. I only had three left and now it's all gone.

La Paz

2005-02-28T09:41:00.000-05:00

It´s big. And high. And I was supposed to be in bed today in agonizing pain but I´m NOT! HA! I think living in Boone (which is twice as high as Austin) then moving to Tarija (which is twice as high as Boone) has helped the transition to here (which is...five times as high as Austin).

I saw Titanic. It was English, but it wouldn´t have mattered because mostly the lines are "Jack!" "Rose!" "Jack!" "Rose!" etc. And there was a frozen baby, which was sad. And it was generally depressing. Oh, and I´m fairly certain "bloody hell" doesn´t translate to "claro". Still, good. And depressing. And I have to go now, being as Kathy´s finished getting her visa to India...bye.

omg it´s a SPOOF!! a really BAD spoof!!

2005-02-26T08:54:00.000-05:00

(Ushi would like it to be known that halfway through typing this her screen froze and shortly thereafter turned plaid. She had to restart ye olde computer and retype ye olde rant. Consider yourself privileged.)

On Thursday, February 24, 2005 (Earth time), in what would later be known as a great event in galactic history, in a region so unfashionable that hardly anyone likes to acknowlege its existence, a semi-average-looking house belonging to a not-remotely-average Earth child was demolished by bulldozers. Fortunately, no Vogons have appeared as of yet.

The not-remotely-average Earth child in question is none other than Ursula Wood, infamous author of La Poema del Gnu and Deep and Abiding HATRED. At the time, she was sitting in a random kitchen in a landlocked South American country eating something that was almost, but not quite, entirely unlike french fries. She had this to say on the subject: "Well, I knew it was going to happen--that´s why we moved in with Grandad--but I just thought it was funny that it happened on a Thursday. You wouldn´t have some decent fries, would you?" She then wandered off muttering about cognates and would it kill them to put spiffy in the dictionary?

Wood would also like her friends to know that if all goes well she will return to her wildly unfashionable region in time for the opening day of that wholly remarkable movie, The Hitchhiker´s Guide to the Galaxy, and that she will of course be wearing a towel, Peril-Sensitive Sunglasses, and 42 written in duct tape on her shirt. She expects similar attire of them.

HATRED, plus some other stuff

2005-02-23T09:23:00.000-05:00

I am going to hire a female assassin to torture and kill the following three people: Short Bushy-Eyebrow Boy, That Guy On the Sidewalk, and Random Cab Driver.

I´ll try not to rant too much, because this is the subject of this week´s share day, but culture shock has arrived and taken its first form as deep and abiding HATRED of every male over seven. Especially the three above. Short Bushy-Eyebrow Boy for mocking my last name and suggesting I exchange sex for money, That Guy On the Sidewalk and Random Cab Driver for makinging kissy faces at me. They should all DIE.

Um, in other news I tranlated the first two pages of Harry Potter y la piedra filosofal into English yesterday, and wrote two sentences on the board for English class. That´s all I did at school. And now Kathy says I can´t read in class anymore.

In other other news, I had more PE this morning. Not nearly as bad this time, although we did these peculiar sideways pushups that I´m almost certain I did wrong because they made my elbows bleed. (floor=concrete=bad)

And I´m going to La Paz on Sunday.

The End.

NEW event of the week

2005-02-21T20:00:00.000-05:00

hedoesn'thatemehedoesn'thatememylifeisn'truinedanymorenowi'mHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYandhedoesn'thatemeHURRAY!!!!!!!!!!
Oh and Lena has some important news.
Yay.

And I promise someday I will tell you who these people are.

2005-02-21T08:41:00.000-05:00

We (by which I mean me, Charo, Mariella, Claudia, Alejandra, Someone´s Husband, Santiago, and Rodrigo) went to Tomatitas last night and picked up Ana, then to the cemetary and put flowers on a grave. I think it was Charo´s husband, he died last year. And people said prayers and crossed themselves, but it really wasn´t that sad. The cemetary was full of flowers and wreaths, really pretty. And it felt safe. I would´ve slept there willingly, because it felt full of love and protection. Does that make sense? Oh, but there was an unattended candle on someone else´s grave. That didn´t really strike me as safe.

Event of the Week

2005-02-19T18:36:00.000-05:00

Make that events, actually.

Event one: While running at practice on Wednesday, I was attacked by a horde of evil ninjamonkeys wielding swords, who knocked me down and scraped up my knees so bad you'd think I was a third grader falling off a swingset.
In short, Andy attacked me and I fell.

And event two? Event two is this: Someone very important hates me, someone whom I really would rather not have hating me with what must be a soul-consuming fiery passion, and it's all my fault and there's nothing I can do about it except hate life. That is event two.

Wish you were here.
Love, Megs

I think it´s safe now.

2005-02-18T09:43:00.001-05:00

You lot hopefully won´t read this until after school, so I shall now post the rest of ye olde gnu poem. Enjoy.

There once was a gnu.
This gnu had a hue.
The hue of this gnu was a true, true blue.
Friends of this gnu (whose name was Sue)
Thought her hue was a bit too blue.
The too-blue gnu whose name was Sue
lived in a zoo--a zoo with a view.
There was many a moo and a mew in this zoo,
many a shrew and many a poo.
Sue liked her zoo, view and poo too.

One day Sue (the too-blue gnu)
sat on a pew of yew in her zoo.
Alas for her shoe was glued to the pew,
and the glue was a goo she rued having brewed.
She sat so glued to her pew of yew,
and as she stewed there grew a coup in the zoo.
A coup in the zoo! What to do? And with who?
There she sat glued to the pew--not a clue.
She sat and she stewed as the shrews slew a few,
and still she stewed as the aviary blew.
She stewed on through the baboon battle too,
and then she had it--then Sue knew.
She took two ticks to remove her shoe
and left it glued to the pew of yew,
then off Sue flew to the loo of the zoo.
"You!" she mooed to the crew of the coup,
"And you! Listen up for a few, please do.
To soothe the baboons and the mutinous shrews,
this gnu says build a new zoo--two!"
The birds, they cooed. The cats, they mewed.
"Two new zoos, says Sue the gnu?"
The baboons mused, and the mutinous shrews.
"True!" they said. "New zoos will do."

So Sue the gnu brewed more glue,
and they built new zoos of pews of yew.
The shrews were soothed, and the baboons too,
and the too-blue gnu whose name was Sue
was happy in her coupless zoo with a view.

Happy Pictures!!!

2005-02-17T19:25:00.000-05:00

Ushi, your mamma showed up a school this morning and gave us pictures. I especially liked the one where you looked like you looked like you were about to puke (just kidding ^_^). But you better be taking lots more pictures to give us when you come back while we take pictures to send you while you're there. And Justin read what you wrote on Noname and squeaked. And we decided that editing in burgundy pen and writing things totally unrelated to what the story is about is cool. Be happy! ;P

Three Totally Unrelated Events

2005-02-16T10:08:00.000-05:00

Event the First--I lost my wallet. Which, not such a big deal, unless by "I lost my wallet" I mean "a schoolmate/maid stole my wallet" which would be sad. It didn`t have a lot of money in it in gringo terms, but here it was like a week`s salary. So I either left it on the bed and the maid stole it, or I dropped it on the sidewalk on my way to school and it was hopefully found by someone who needed the money to buy medicine for their ailing child, or someone swiped it during break at school. I really hope it wasn`t the maid, because I like her. Not that I`ve met her. But she´s very thorough. By which I mean she folds my underwear.

Event the Second Which Isn´t Really an Event So Much as a Situation, But Oh Well--There is a girl in my class who wishes to remain unnamed, but she´s spiffy and Korean and speaks English, and Korean as well I imagine. I showed her my Pictures of Friends. She thinks Abe is cute and wishes to have his e-mail address. I, being the lovely person that I am, am asking Abe´s permission before disclosing his e-mail address to random Korean-Bolivian girls who go to my school. Erm...advice? She will ask if you have a girlfriend. Have an answer ready.

Event the Third--I got up at seven this morning and took a cab to the outskirts of town where I have two hours straight of PE. Or EF, as the abbreviation would be. Ew. Just...ew. Warm-up exercises were grueling, but I did way better than the other girls in that I did a few actual push-ups, as opposed to feeble lifting-shoulders-two-inches-from-ground-then-collapsing. Everybody was like "Wow you´re really strong" which was sad because I´m really not since I quit capoeira. (Note that as soon as I get home I´m starting again.) Then a few girls got in a circle and played a truly pathetic game of volleyball. I joined in and pummelled the ball within an inch of its life. Mabellians will know that I am not exaggerating. And then they were all "Wow you´re really good at volleyball" which also was sad. I´d be good at it were it not for those pesky out-of-bounds lines. Um...and now I´m tired. The end.

Poema del Gnu

2005-02-15T10:09:00.000-05:00

Yeah...I got really bored in math class. But I´m proud of it. Here´s the first bit, the rest´s for share day in CW.

There once was a gnu.
This gnu had a hue.
The hue of this gnu was a true, true blue.
Friends of this gnu (whose name was Sue)
Thought her hue was a bit too blue.
The too-blue gnu whose name was Sue
lived in a zoo--a zoo with a view.
There was many a moo and a mew in this zoo,
many a shrew and many a poo.
Sue liked her zoo, view and poo too.

That´s all I´m showing you for now, but let it be known that later in the poem I use the phrase "mutinous shrews".

Mailing Address (again again)

2005-02-14T19:25:00.000-05:00

I am getting tired of writing this, Ushi. Just find out where the mail that goes to the people who normally live in the house you are in get their mail sent to. And tell us, and we will send your mail there, only with your name on. It's very simple dear.

And I will not be able to go to the Geekness Without Ushi because of dentist and LAX. Piff.

But anyway, had LAX to day and will be so sore I can't move tomorrow, just to let you know. And y'all have to come to a game, or else.

Teeheehee, palns.

Palns

2005-02-13T17:54:00.000-05:00

A paln is an extra-special plan, one that's so cool that when you try to write the word plan you get so excited that you mix up your letters and so then it's a P A L N plan. Just so you all know.
Anyway. Catey and I have a paln. A paln so crazy awesome that I really shouldn't tell you all about it where the people about whom said paln is about can read about it. So I'll tell you tomorrow. But think of these hints:
-My Chr!m80 c0m!x
-Shine
-ROTK
-Duck
-Ne, hehehehee
ehm... that's enough for now.
Muahahahah! Palns!

Yea and Verily: Tomes

2005-02-13T10:42:00.000-05:00

It is but the thirteenth and yon three Susan Fletcher tomes were to last a mooncycle. Alas for greatly I enjoy Susan Fletcher and soon am to finish ye olde Book Three. I fear I soon may have to turn to ye olde Magic Treehouse to satisfy my needs. I rue not bringing ye olde Tamora Pierce, for yon tomes art hefty and longish. Among the Hidden and its bretheren I preserve for yon March, and Savior or whatever it be called for yon April, along with Pride and Prejudice in case I become truly desperate. And Cam Jansen in case I hit ye olde rock bottom.

Rumor has it ye olde Peace Corps library posseseth many an English-language book; remains it to be seen whether said books doth sucketh.

Indeed for I shall soon reread ye olde Harry Potter One through Five; and the people shall rejoice as yon task may indeed take four days to be completed. Six if I become stucketh again at ye olde Quidditch World Cup.

And indeed for thou shalt ph34r3th mine wrath if I am deprived of mine tomes. Ph34r3th with yon "p".

Mailing Address (again)

2005-02-12T20:14:00.000-05:00

I am going to keep posting this at the top of the blog every couple of days until Ushi complies, so unless you want people after you because they are sick of reading the same thing over and over again, I suggest you comply Ushi. I WANT TO SEND YOU A BOX!!!

omigah

2005-02-11T10:46:00.000-05:00

The postyacommenty type screen is all... different. And weird. And I don't like it.
Wah, my computer is under the power of the Internet demons from Hell and it wants to eat my soul! T_T See, cause this morning it's kicked me off AOL THREE BLOODY TIMES! And that's in like seven minutes. And now it's decided to be AOL for Broadband. And now Blogger's gone wrong. Wah.

Muahahahaha.

2005-02-11T08:43:00.000-05:00

Actually, not much to say. School isn´t as horrible, probably due to Scary Social Studies Guy being gone. Because the classes change. Um...and my shoes still squeak.

And now to catch up on Megatokyo.

The whole world misses Ushi

2005-02-10T13:13:00.000-05:00

I don't remember who all was there for that conversation. I shall enlighten those who weren't. 'twas on that fateful day we all hated.
Tina:The whole world is going to miss Ushi
Catey:Except Bolivgaria. They'll have her.
Tina:Lucky bastards.
Indeed.

Snow days are wonderful things for people who haven't finished their Creative Writing essays or science projects and are extremely unwilling to finish their English prep work.

Speaking of Creative Writing, it seems very dead without you there, Ushi. Tina never even takes my hairband anymore. It's a little depressing. Tina misses her devil, Spaz misses her Bolivgarian, Ariel misses you, Maya misses you, Lane misses you...even all those other people miss you, Josie and Daniel and Misty and Helen and even Matt the other day was like "It's not as funny in here without that girl who left." He's a moron, but an observant moron. And then there's that other girl whose name I don't even remember, but she doesn't count. What is it? Sireana or something? Snob. Anyway, you need to come back before Tina dies and I become un-spazzy without the proper motivation. Although Meg can probably help with that.

This random kid at my youth group asked about Ushi the other day. I said something like "My friend is in Bolivia [yes, I got it right] and she's not coming back until May and we miss her" or something and this redhead kid goes "Is that Ursula?" And I have no idea who he was. But he obviously knows you.

Shine looks very lost lately. Has anyone else noticed? [Yes, you have.] Like he's missing something. Or someone. Or someone's hat. Poor poor Shine.

Augh, Ushi! I got it wrong! So... don't panic! But as it turns out Hitchhiker's Guide comes out on May 4th. So you must be back in time! You MUST! It would be very tragic for you to miss it. we need to get a group to see it on opening day and bug the life out of all the half-fans who turn up. We, of course, would be the only TRULY LOYAL Adams fans. Hmmph.

With that thought I must leave to put off my projects some more. Ciao.

Mailing address

2005-02-10T10:14:00.000-05:00

Send me one or else. I shall be an unhappy uber-Lena if I can't send spiffy-UshiRave things in a box.
And we're out for snow today!! Happiness! Because I didn't study for HIstory last night! Or finish my math homework!
And also if you send me an address, we can send you prestamped envelopes and I can give you money so you can get me a souvenier (look everybody, It came from Bolivia! I didn't go, but one of my friends did! Wait, where are you going?). So yes. And we can send you things like the pages of Superhero too! Yay!

"Again we meet." "Indeed."

2005-02-10T08:20:00.000-05:00

So, I missed the über-huge-water-fight-of-DOOM. Why, pray tell? Because the night before I was spewing various bodily fluids that oughtn´t be spewed. It is the first of many Random Diseases to come. Hurrah hurrah. So for two days after that I was like "bleh", and discovered that Bolivians are quite similar to the British in that they believe tea will solve all the world´s problems.

And I haven´t written for a while, partly because of my Random Disease and "bleh"osity, but also because the internet place´s internet wasn´t working.

What else. Mama went home yesterday, much to my distress, as she was my only remaining tangible tie to home. (John Kathy Sid and Joe don´t count because they are just as stranded as I.) And then I went to school, which, first of all? You sit still for four hours straight. For three classes straight. Except for break whererin annoying popular girls kidnap you and try to get you to translate curse words, which would be fine except there are no cognates. And then make you LATE. The pathetic little new girl gringa LATE for class which is taught by Scary Social Studies Guy (who also mocks you because, as far as you can tell, you speak no French) and then he yells at the world in general. And how were you supposed to know everyone stands up when the teacher enters the room, it´s not very nice of these people to laugh. And squeaky shoes. Don´t move them ever.

Summary? I hate school with a fiery passion that burns like the blazing pits of HELL. Lucky it´s only four hours a day four days a week. Still...blazing pits of HELL.

I´ll survive though. Me and the kids have opened a lending library by pooling all our English language resources. The Anastasia Krupnik series is actually pretty good. And me and the twins filled up six sheets of notebook paper with words and translations.

Random Information on Bolivian Culture--You kiss people on the cheek in greeting. Or you do if one or both of the greeters are female. It is okay to greet random boys in your school this way. But not your principal, which the Ushi cleverly figured out beforehand.

All this? It won´t seem to bad until about three weeks in, at which time my Culture Shock is due. Be prepared to reassure me.

HappyhyperJumpyspazzy!

2005-02-09T19:07:00.000-05:00

I Finished Superhero Volume One!!(imagine am singing) During Helth when I was sposta be writing a poem about being pregnant. My teacher is losing her mind. But anyway, it was really kinda short so I put all the character designs in it too. And I am going to try to make a site layout if I ever get the time. Bleh. Math homework. I hate Ariel Nicastro. She is suck-upping-shoe-stealing-short-no-grande-boobs-chaifing-whore. So. Yes. Si, Ushi being in Bolivia makes us want to speak Spanish, which is really wierd. Nuestros hoys son aburridos con no Ushi.(I think I did that right) Y queremos Ushi vuelve [safely].

Oooh. learned most of that in the last week or so. :P

Prep muchachas son estupidas. No estar, ser.

Bleh. Homework now.

Eh... stuff

2005-02-08T20:32:00.000-05:00

Ushi is having fun and we're pretending to.
They won't let us go to our lockers when we finish with lunch anymore which is sad but you know whatever because we do have that break.... We have essays on Friday but that's not important either. Mleh, I reallyreallyreally hope we picked 4 and 5 because I think if I did 5 based on my outline then it'd be reallyreallyreally good. Wah, we prolly got 3 and 4 and both of those blow goats in bed.
I have a new Health teacher because Ms. McCall went to Georgia (the state not the country) for being all military-like. Mr Mike McFall is our new teacher--creepy how similar their names are, no? But I like him better than McCall cause she was a silly chaifer and no one likes her except Alison who doesn't really count. But I might get to teach Health someday in March... l'uberspiff, si (con accento) o no?
Creepy, your immersion in culture is making me feel like speaking in Spanish today. COME HOME SO PEOPLE CAN UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M SAYING!!!!!!!!!!! Not that they ever did before...
Lalalalala... butterflies... Duck's started calling me something about pumpkins, I think because of my pants...?
Am I the only one who thinks Ushi might want to hear what we have to say and not us just read about her? We're 'interesting' too you know!
Interesting in Duck's basement, to be sure. And let's face it, who isn't? (Su madre.) Erm...
OMG Ushi guess what! I passed Driver's ed AND I got a 100 on one of my math tests! Maybe I won't fail after all!
Mi clase de espanol esta facil, y el alumnos estan perezosos y tontos. And you can tell them I said that! At least 4 people ended up copying my last night's homework today... Jasper went and made a copy because he lost his sheet. Muchacho estupido.
Am having v. interesting 5|"4/\/!5|-| 1337 conversation with Jeanine. Hurrah.

¡Gaspo! ¡Gaspo!

2005-02-06T17:46:00.000-05:00

Um. Indeed. Really not that much to report, except that tomorrow in the plaza shall be the über-huge-water-fight-of-DOOM and that people have been practicing all day with water guns and balloons and cans of some strange silly-string-like substance. Alas for I was an unarmed gringa (white American, usually associated with being rich and silly) and nobody dared attack me except a three-year-old girl on my way here. I don´t think they´ll have a problem tomorrow when I have a backpack full of ammo.

Oh, Tarijanos are especially loyal to Spain and all European central-like. So they associate pale skin with beauty. Which means that boys have been looking at me. Me specifically. One guy called me pretty in English--really bad English--and it was downright creepy. And I´ll probably have a bunch of boys my age try to get me wet tomorrow because that´s what they do. Fear them--the fifteen-year-old boys and the three-year-old girls.

What else. I went to the market today and got four school shirts for something like 50 bolivianos. To put that in perspective, they´re eight to the dollar. I still lack shiny shoes. But! Charo´s oldest daughter whose name nobody has told me gave me a duck. That squeaks. It´s brilliant. And--omgwtf--I had a conversation!! I´m really proud of myself because I followed what they were saying and answered their questions in perfect Spanglish. (I explained what Spanglish was and they immediately changed it to Espangles.) Mama goes home on Wednesday, which is also when school starts and when I will be fully moved into Charo´s. Much the stress.

Wow. It´s pretty late. It´s 19, whenever the hell that is, but nobody cares about clocks here. I am to go home when tarde becomes noche--when it gets dark. I ate beef from Argentina today. ´Twas yum-like.

Ciao,
Ushi

(Oh yeah. They say ciao here instead of adios. Which is cool. Fare thee well!)

An Ushi post! ¡Gaspo doble!

2005-02-05T08:29:00.000-05:00

3-2-05

Hello all-

I´m in Santa Cruz (Bolivia, not California) and it took me eighteen hours total to get here. Sitting with a missionary and a convert. It could´ve been bad, but I did what any sensible atheist would do--I went to sleep. And, observation? Planes are not made to sleep in. Sleep in plane=be unable to move neck. Also, fly with no gum=be deaf in left ear.

Still, there´s not that much to complain about. Bolivia is bright green and smells like summer, the people smile a lot, it´s warm and windy, and every other billboard has the word vida on it. Our hotel is brilliant too, really really nice, with a balcony and curtains we can´t open so they´re all billow billow. There´s a pool, but the water is über-cold, especially when the wind hits you. I was baked a toasty brown trying to warm up, and the scar on my shoulder--from that bike wreck last year--is all burned and sting-like. Alas.

Everything´s in 24-hour time here, and it´s a pain trying to figure out when 14 o´clock is and then saying it in Spanish. Also I think our room´s clock is set to the Moscow time zone.

Ushi is sleepy. She will post this whenever she gains access to a computer.

Miss you all loads,
Ursula

---

Bolivian Soap Opera--Interpreted by Ushi
(there is a man in a chicken suit in the opèning credits)

Pretty-Hair Girl- I have pretty hair. This is my sole function. Also? I have a lapdog.
Lapdog- Squeek.
Stripey-Shirt Dude- Dramatic Love Confession!
Manly Apron Guy- ¡Ella es mi mujer! ¡Mi!
Pretty-Hair Girl- I am distressed. Comfort me, lapdog!
Lapdog- Squeek.
(commercial break consisting almost entirely of scantily-clad women)
Red-Dress Girl- Wow. Vegas.
Tie Person- I´m off to gamble!
Bed- (collapses for no apparent reason)
Tie Person- (gamble gamble)
(more scantily-clad women)
Stripper and Nerdly Boy- (make out for no reason at all)
Angry-Looking Orange Guy- (sees. is angry.)
Dramatic Music- (is dramatic)
("Bebes Coca-Cola. ¡Y miras mis boobs!")
Stripey-Shirt Dude- Father Figure! Pretty-Hair Girl did not react favorably to Dramatic Love Confession!
Father Figure- This is Latin America, so I can hug you and still be manly.
(Ushi was not paying attention, but she assumes there were more chicas con no ropas.)
Two Random Female Characters- (Obligatory Yelling and Slapping)
Nerdly Boy- (breaks up fight)
Two Random Female Characters plus Nerdly Boy- (more yelling)
(Here Ushi went to supper. She assumes Pretty-Hair Girl elopes with Guy in Chicken Suit and Angry-Looking Orange Guy eats Lapdog, while Nerdly Boy goes on to rule the world. All hail Nerdly Boy!)

3-2-05

Hello again-

Just writing to let you know that I have learned well the old traveler´s rule of Sleep While You Can, and that a little boy at the airport saw Mama´s tattoo and called her a bruja. It was pretty funny. (Meg and Lena- it´s still this big!!)

--Ushi the Well Rested

5-2-05

I finally have access to a computer!! Albeit a computer that hates me. It´s in Spanish, see?

¡¿ñ?!

Indeed.´This is my second day in Tarija. I really like it here. The people are happy and friendly and it´s the middle of Carnaval so there´s confetti all over the street. My friends here are doing pretty well, although the kids aren´t being exposed to much Spanish. Me, I´m actually following conversations, which is shocking.

I´m enrolled in the Colegio San Bernardo de Tarija (Saint Bernard´s) and classes start on Wednesday. Alas for I have no uniform yet.

I met the family I´ll be staying with. Charo and her daughters Claudia and Alejandra and someone´s grandbaby whose name I don´t know yet, and they´re all really really nice. I think I´ll like living with them.

That´s all for now. John and Sidney just showed up. I´m going to the plaza now, I think. Anywho, try to have fun without me.

Love,
Ushi

Hey-

2005-02-04T17:19:00.000-05:00

Is Ushi ever going to talk to us and tell us what is going on? For we are missing her too much. I nearlt cried when I saw Ushi the Honorary Rudabega's flowers were wilting the other day. I have been in mourning for Ushi and was wearing all black just for her to day. T_T Wah!!!!! Come back Ushi!!!

So...

2005-02-03T10:06:00.000-05:00

Are we supposed to do this so that Uschie knows exactly what happens when she's gone? Okay then.
We got out of school early yesterday because it was sleeting in Zionville, and we all got to be happy and hyper and stuff, and sing too. Today we have no school because it is icy and treacherous and last night I dreamed about socks with worms on them and penguins escaping from the zoo. My cat likes to chew on my feet and it looks a little bit more sunny so maybe we'll have school tomorrow. Erm... I'm writing a first chapter for that book we never wrote last summer.

omgwtf?!

2005-02-02T17:10:00.000-05:00

She's gone.

The day before

2005-02-01T16:25:00.000-05:00

Ushi leaves tomorrow and i think i'm gonna cry! i miss you Ushi!
come back soon!
and i'll bring you fun and random things when you get back......

uhm, by the way.. are you coming back to school after you get back, because the day you show up in class i'm gonna glomp you

~jesy

Wow.

2005-01-30T13:30:00.000-05:00

After Ushi and Meg left yesterday, it kind of hit me. Ushi is leaving and she will be gone for three months. And she won't be here. And it was a shock. I am going to miss Ushi soooooo much. And she left her movie here. But geekness is not going to be the same without her. Noone to giggle at everything with for absolutely no reason. I am going to hate it.

Farewell…!

2005-01-27T17:35:00.000-05:00

I don't miss Ushi in particular. But that's okay, as I am Ushi. And I think it's superultraüberspifftasticniftacular that there's a blog devoted to missing me. It makes me go bounce.

Sooo…I was going to do my goodbye post like immediately before I left, but due to lack-of-internet-as-of-tomorrow circumstances I'm doing it now.

Um. Well first of all if any of you get killed while I'm gone I'm going to be so so pissed. (I appear to have irrational abandonment issues, let's just get it out of the way and move on.) So…you aren't allowed to die. Or, for that matter, be mortally wounded. Nay, even wounded at all. If you get so much as a splinter I will…kill you. (Key word? Irrational.)

I'll be sending my letters here, so be sure to alert the Spaz and the Pink Panther. Abe is responsible for printing out all my letters and mailing them to Sarah-Day, who has no internet. As for Alex…actually, I have no wish to expose any of you to him, as it would cause a chemical reaction that would destroy the very fabric of reality. Alex will have to find them himself.

As for the actual saying goodbye part…that's hard. I don't think my brain has yet registered that I am leaving. The country. For three months. Were I not tired as all hell, I'd probably be sucking my thumb in a corner right about now, but as it is I just want to pass out. Santa Cruz will be a nice break. Not so sure about Catholic school in Tarija, but hey.

So, I guess this is it. Goodbye all. I'll write at least twice a month, and the amounts of missing-you I will have will be insane. But! I shall return! With the new talent of muttering obscure phrases in Spanish, such as "tremble before the rage of the banjo" and "superultraüberspifftasticniftacular".

Love and Spazzes,
Ursula

Comickness

2005-01-26T17:57:00.000-05:00

Am doing Superhero comics for Ushi, to give when she returns. T_T WE DON'T WANT HER TO LEAVE!!!!! And we shall all cry. But I may need help in the speech bubble department when we get that far, if anyone wants to help me.

WE MISS USHI!

2005-01-19T18:40:00.000-05:00

i miss you already and yet you are still here... how odd.
*blows kiss*
ja na
jesy

Ummm....

2005-01-19T18:05:00.000-05:00

This is the blog where we can all cry and whine and complain about missing Ushi, because that's what I made it for. We also should post anything important that happens while she is gone, or things we think she should know. We all miss her already and wish she wouldn't leave.

Wah!!!